Introverted and Loving It

Is it fear that’s holding you back from achieving greatness? Or is it your introversion?

There is a distinct difference between introversion and fear, but for some reason over the years two have become synonymous.

Introversion: the act of directing one’s interest inward or to things within the self or the state of being concerned primarily with one’s own thoughts and feelings rather than with the external environment.

Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. (or) concern or anxiety; solicitude

Other than the fact that both words are nouns, I can’t find any similarities. Yet many feel as though they are one and the same.

I coach and mentor virtual assistants to have a thriving business utilizing their personality type to the fullest potential. However I see many who are fearful.

They are afraid to market their business.

They are afraid to take on new challenges.

They are afraid of failing.

They are afraid of success.

Unfortunately many are hiding behind the face of fear and say that it’s because they are introverted that they’re not successful. Can you see now how many perceive the two as one?

In order to have a successful business and/or life, you have to work through the fear. Recognize it. Defeat it. Become fierce. If the fear is deep rooted, it may be necessary to employ the use of certified mental health counselors. Counseling is nothing to be ashamed of. It gives you an opportunity to talk things out, get to the root of your fear, work through it and then squash it like a bug.

Being an introvert rocks. We are a minority in this big world of ours. We are the creatives. We are the thinkers.  We are truly what makes the world go round.

Fear is another thing all together. Fear just plain old sucks and it literally sucks the life out of you.

If you want to know how many big name authors, coaches, business pros and others have dealt with fear and have used it to become fierce in life and business, then I would LOVE to suggest How the Fierce Handle Fear: Secrets to Succeeding in Challenging Times by Janet Slack, Donald Trump, Jack Canfield and over 15 others. Janet’s story alone changed how I view my life and business. I bet it will change your perspective too.

So…do you see how fear and introversion are different?

Keep rockin’,

-

Ummmm….YEAH!

I was curious to see how people find this blog and site, so I checked my Google Analytics account. In the past 30 days 27 people have found this site by typing in, “Is it ok to be introverted?”

Why this surprises me, I will never know. Probably because I want to shout from the rooftops that we introverts are normal. We just happen to experience and live life a different way than the majority. As I stated in a post long ago I find it extremely disturbing to see how some view us and to recap:

Introverts are not mentally defective
Introverts are not clinically depressed
Introverts are not do not need psychotherapy
Introverts are not [insert your unpolished, crude remark here]

Let me state for the record that introverts, just like extroverts can suffer from depression. However just because you are introverted, it does not mean that you are depressed or need mental help. Coming to grips with introversion can be a relief to many because they finally realize that they’re normal and can live a normal, happy life. According to a quick search on Google about 75% of people are extroverted, which leaves only about 25% of us introverts. It can be pretty lonely here (pun intended).

Over the past couple of days we have talked about embracing who we are. For everyone finding Introverted and Loving It through the phrase “Is it ok to be introverted?“, my answer to you is an orgasmic YES, YES, YES! Embrace who you are, learn what makes you tick and love your life!

Keep rockin’,

-

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I posted here. Perhaps I should do it more huh? I will work on that.

Over the past year I have made many changes in my life, some for the positive and some not so much. During the next few weeks I am going to be working hard on the changes that fell into the “not so much” category. My ultimate goal is radical transparency. I hold back way too much in my online life which is nothing like me in person. In person, I am extremely opinionated, however online, not so much. For some reason I think in the back of my mind, “what if people don’t like what I have to say?” or “what if I gain a bad ‘reputation’ in the online world?”

I’m sick of living in a “not so much” world and a world built upon fear. It wasn’t until today that I realized how paralyzing the FEAR has been in my life. My realization came when I was reading an excerpt from Janet Slack’s (Solopreneur.biz) new book How the Fierce Handle Fear (which is co-authored by Donald Trump). Janet said:

Fear is an intriguing beast. After I caught it lying, it had taken a transformation that became my final hurdle in learning to be fierce.
Fear was no longer about being alone, fear had become about being able to love again.

I’ve been meditating on those three simple sentences all day long and my decision is to apply these to not only my life, but also to my business. Fear has kept me back long enough and I’m sick and tired of it.

You know what’s funny…I coach people on a daily basis to knock fear out of the lives of their businesses. Yes, I’m serious! I was literally blindsided by the fact that I was (ok, am) living in fear. It threw me for a loop and knocked the wind out of me, but I am dusting myself off and moving forward. (Note for those that I coach: I am being transparent here…don’t hold it against me. .)

Another reason why I was blown away was because I live by the 90/10 rule. I can tick off 90% and I only have to worry about the 10%. Why? Because I can’t be all things to all people, nor do I want to be. By nature, I’m not a coddler, I’ve tried and failed at that many times. The people that know and love me best do so because my gifts lie in other areas. One of them is that fact that I speak my mind. While I’m opinionated, I’m open to hearing others as well and I love a good debate.

I LOVE myself too much to live an imprisoned life. I’m off to be FIERCE!

Now if I could only figure out the balance between my new found zest and my “open mouth insert foot syndrome”!

Keep rockin’,

-

If you are an avid reader of a blog or your just surfing through, if you don’t like something it’s ok to click away. It really is.

Yesterday I was reading one of my favorite business blogs and one of the commenters totally slammed the site owner. The commenter stated that they were upset over the reviews and number of posts about a certain website browser. Said commenter felt as though they were in the hip pocket of the browser developers and that they wrote about the browser too much. They wanted less posts about the browser each week and perhaps just a weekly roundup if they felt the need to talk about the browser.

My advice…click away. If you don’t like a certain subject or post, then click away. It’s easy, it’s simple and it’s quick. Secondly it wouldn’t matter one way or another if this particular blogger was in the hip pocket of the developers of said website browser. Chances are, no I know that the blogger in question is a business owner and makes their living from their blog. So if said developer was paying for reviews, then so be it. You don’t have to like it. You can click away. I click away all the time…again it’s easy, it’s simple and it’s quick.

PS – If by any chance Purina (the makers of Purina Cat Chow Indoor Formula) is reading this blog, I will certianly shout your company name and glory from the rooftops in rural Upper Dauphin, PA if you would throw the darling Fifi some kibble.

I was tagged for this meme by Heather.

A- Attached or Single? Extremely attached…my husband is one of a kind.

B- Best Friend: I have many acquaintances and very few “friends”. My Bestest Buds are Heather and Pam (she needs a blog)

C- Cake or Pie: Hmmm, I think it would have to be cake…but I haven’t had any in quite awhile. This wheat free thing is killing me!

D- Drink of Choice: Diet Pepsi all the way!

E- Essential Item: Bible and journal

F- Favorite Color: Red…who woulda thought. I must be getting daring in my old age.

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Gummi worms of course…but not the ones that taste like perfume.

H- Hometown: Harrisburg, PA

I- Indulgence: Reading a great book all ALONE!

J- January or February: February…we’re starting to see the end of snow!

K- Kids: One energy packed, 5 year old, bundle of joy, who we adopted at birth.

L- Life is incomplete without: essential alone time.

M- Marriage Date: August 1, 1998

N- Number of Siblings: I have one younger brother in college…make me proud.

O- Oranges or Apples? Apples….Nana’s Apple Cake from Tastefully Simple

P- Phobias/Fears: What day of the week is it?

Q- Favorite Quote: I can’t afford to work with you if you can’t afford me.

R- Reasons to smile: God, my husband, son, friends and family

S- Season: Fall…I love the mountains in the fall.

T- Tag Three: Dale, Denise (she has an endless supply of wisdom) and Emma (she’s one heck of a lady!)

U- Unknown Fact About Me: I never did laundry until I was 19…I didn’t even know how to turn a washer or dryer on.

V – Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? Steak…still mooin’

W- Worst Habit: Not taking time to see the beauty around me.

X – X-rays or Ultrasounds? X-rays…had tons of them!

Y- Your Favorite Foods: Really good Thai food!

Z- Zodiac: Pisces

Heather recently had a list of random questions that she wanted answers to, so here I go.

1. If money and family were not an issue (meaning you have all the money in the world and your family will follow you anywhere), where would you want to live and why?

I don’t have an exact location in mind, however, I would love to be the owner of a small to medium sized (of course that’s relative) private island. Beach and solitude, what more could a girl want.

2. How do you feel about meeting people on the internet (ie. the REALLY cool bloggers that you’ve met in the past few weeks, months, years, etc.) Are you open to meeting them? How far would you extend the invitation? Lunch downtown? Dinner in your home? Spending the weekend? Why?

Believe it or not, yes I’m open to meeting them, no preference as to where. If they are half as cool in person as their blogs are, double heck yeah. Then the other person’s challenge is going to be getting me to open up in person.

3. Do you protect the innocent (or not so innocent) by changing their names when you talk about them on your blog?

Hmm….yes and no. My immediate family and friends, no. However I do hold back a little when explaining my son’s birth parents and a select few others.

4. What is your stance on posting pictures of your family and yourself on your blog? Why did you make this decision?

I love pictures and am a believer that they do speak a thousand words. Sometimes they are vital to getting your message across. While I don’t have any at present, I do look forward to sharing.

5. Who has made the BIGGEST impact on your life and why?

Jesus. Without Him I wouldn’t be where I am or the person I am today. He keeps me strong and grounded. That’s not to say that I don’t get down, because I am still human, but He is there to pick me up, brush me off and send me on my merry way again.

I was tagged by Heather of Desperately Seeking Sanity. Thanks…I think.

Here are the rules. Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven people to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

7 Random Facts About Me…

1. I once broke down in South Hackensack, NJ with a pregnant lady, a man at his wits end, a lilac point Siamese (being delivered to Boston) and was forced to stay in a hotel that rented by the hour on Christmas none-the-less. I was 8 and the pregnant lady was my mom, the man at his wits end was my step-father, the lilac point Siamese was Kiko (my grandmother’s new cat) and for the life of me I can’t remember the motel’s name. Needless to say I was scarred for life by this experience. The only restaurant open on Christmas was the Chinese restaurant that had NO POWER so we dined on pea pods by candle light. I think my parents shielded me from the horrors of the rent-by-the-hour-seediness.

2. I’m in the process of writing a cookbook, complete with my own recipes, no regurgitation here. I love to cook and I’m darn good at it too, now if only the Food Network would pick me up.

3. The most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done…I sucked the big toe of a radio disc jockey for 2 tickets to an Aerosmith concert.

1. I was young (20)
2. I was stupid (again…20)
3. Yes, the big toe was clean

4. Believe it or not, my snotty cat has his own blog called The Life of a Cat and he’s actually pretty funny. He’s bugging me for a MySpace profile and his own line of “Craptacular Cat Litter”.

5. I adopted an EXTROVERT child at birth who challenges me to step out of my comfort zone each and every day. He can make friends at the grocery store or on the street and even invites strangers and vagrants to our house. Like two weeks ago we went for a walk. Boy was talking to said stranger for about 3 blocks. Next thing I know said stranger is following us up the stairs to our apartment. HELLO! DUDE! Boy is 5 and just making conversation. Out darn spot out I say! I think everyone is now privy to where we live.

6. I wanted to be a nun until I was 9. Yes I’m being serious. Then I was told that I would never have a boyfriend, have sex or have a baby, so I changed my mind and wanted to be the next Dr. Ruth. Truth be told, I think I wanted to get a rise out of the nuns…it worked.

7. My BFF is Celiac so I started researching the disease and came across some very interesting information which made me wonder if I too suffered from a sensitivity to wheat. I made the switch to a wheat free/gluten free lifestyle. So far in two weeks I’ve lost 15 pounds, I have more energy and ummm….hmmmm…..my “IBS” has just about disappeared.

Now I have to pick seven? Come on people, I’m introverted and live in a box. Hmmm, who are the lucky ones?

* Karen @ Kreative Ramblings
* Rose @ Expert Business Results
* Dale @ Dale’s Ramblings
* Lisa @ Potty Prayers
* Fi Fi @ The Life of a Cat

I’m a rule breaker by nature, so I’m doing just five.