Oh bla dee a bla da life goes on bla o o o o life goes on. I keep singing that over and over in my head. Similar to that of a Seinfeld episode where George’s father was stuck in his “serenity NOW” phase.
OK, I’ll admit it, I thought I was Super Woman. While I’ll admit that I don’t do it all, I really, truly believed that I “could” do it all…then reality hit and it hit hard. After last week, I am ready to crash and burn by 3:30 pm.
See I started homeschooling this year through the PAVCS (Pennsylvania Virtual Charter School). The first day (Wednesday) went pretty well, except for some minor hurdles. Then Thursday and today were filled with woes…mostly in phonics. OK, truthfully phonics was never my thing. But I followed the instructions on the supplied video, grasped the concept of their method and off I went. I’m not sure if it’s my reluctance coming through but my son can’t stand it. He’s five and already reads, perhaps he just feels like he doesn’t need it. I lack patience, but I don’t think I ever displayed patience the way I did on Thursday morning. The boy was literally kicking and screaming, but I went on with the teaching. Finally after 60 and in utter desperation in a booming voice he said “I want my Daddy to teach me!!!!” So out came Daddy and he got through the lesson in 20 minutes. That night Daddy and I talk about him teaching the boy phonics and he agreed without hesitation.
Friday morning and the boy sat down eagerly at his desk and we thought we were pretty cool because everything was under control. NOT!!! (Can I emphasize that any more?) Calm before the storm was more like it. Five minutes into the lesson he was bored out of his mind and started acting out. 30 minutes into the lesson came “I want my Mommy to teach me!!!!” So what can we say. We taught it together, which worked for about 10 minutes…but at least we got through it.
My son and I “school” for about 5 and a half hours every weekday. It’s rewarding and pretty draining on an introvert like myself. At about 3:30 when we’re finished, I am spent. I am trying to figure out how to convince my husband that I need about an hour of unwind time after the school day is over…a nap would feel wonderful. I asked for one today and he was none too sympathetic of my plight. He explained that he goes to bed with me at night and I make him wake up at a specified time, even though he’s not a morning person, so it gets in his crawl when I ask for a nap in the afternoon because he too feels like he never gets a break. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand where he is coming from. It’s not fair because I do have different expectations for him than I do for myself, so should I ask for a nap? Probably not, but still the only way I can describe my afternoons after school is “spent”…emotionally and physically. Think about it…even though I am working with a child, I am still exerting myself in an extrovert kind of way.
My evenings have been spent working, which I used to be able to accomplish during the day time. I can’t complain though. There are not many of us who have the ability to stay at home with our children and provide for them mentally and physically. I keep reminding myself that I can name about 25 people that I know who would kill for the life that I have.