Posted by Becki | Posted in Introverts, Near-n-Dear | Posted on 31-08-2007
Oh bla dee a bla da life goes on bla o o o o life goes on. I keep singing that over and over in my head. Similar to that of a Seinfeld episode where George’s father was stuck in his “serenity NOW” phase. 
OK, I’ll admit it, I thought I was Super Woman. While I’ll admit that I don’t do it all, I really, truly believed that I “could” do it all…then reality hit and it hit hard. After last week, I am ready to crash and burn by 3:30 pm.
See I started homeschooling this year through the PAVCS (Pennsylvania Virtual Charter School). The first day (Wednesday) went pretty well, except for some minor hurdles. Then Thursday and today were filled with woes…mostly in phonics. OK, truthfully phonics was never my thing. But I followed the instructions on the supplied video, grasped the concept of their method and off I went. I’m not sure if it’s my reluctance coming through but my son can’t stand it. He’s five and already reads, perhaps he just feels like he doesn’t need it. I lack patience, but I don’t think I ever displayed patience the way I did on Thursday morning. The boy was literally kicking and screaming, but I went on with the teaching. Finally after 60 and in utter desperation in a booming voice he said “I want my Daddy to teach me!!!!” So out came Daddy and he got through the lesson in 20 minutes. That night Daddy and I talk about him teaching the boy phonics and he agreed without hesitation.
Friday morning and the boy sat down eagerly at his desk and we thought we were pretty cool because everything was under control. NOT!!! (Can I emphasize that any more?) Calm before the storm was more like it. Five minutes into the lesson he was bored out of his mind and started acting out. 30 minutes into the lesson came “I want my Mommy to teach me!!!!” So what can we say. We taught it together, which worked for about 10 minutes…but at least we got through it.
My son and I “school” for about 5 and a half hours every weekday. It’s rewarding and pretty draining on an introvert like myself. At about 3:30 when we’re finished, I am spent. I am trying to figure out how to convince my husband that I need about an hour of unwind time after the school day is over…a nap would feel wonderful. I asked for one today and he was none too sympathetic of my plight. He explained that he goes to bed with me at night and I make him wake up at a specified time, even though he’s not a morning person, so it gets in his crawl when I ask for a nap in the afternoon because he too feels like he never gets a break. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand where he is coming from. It’s not fair because I do have different expectations for him than I do for myself, so should I ask for a nap? Probably not, but still the only way I can describe my afternoons after school is “spent”…emotionally and physically. Think about it…even though I am working with a child, I am still exerting myself in an extrovert kind of way.
My evenings have been spent working, which I used to be able to accomplish during the day time. I can’t complain though. There are not many of us who have the ability to stay at home with our children and provide for them mentally and physically. I keep reminding myself that I can name about 25 people that I know who would kill for the life that I have.
Becki 
God bless you! You can do it, I know you can!
Becki,
I know what you mean about needing a break..
Even Jesus took time out after being with a bunch of people all day….hey, I just thought, I wonder if that means he was an introvert by nature…now THAT would be an amazing discovery…
Everybody needs different amounts of rest, and for an INFP, the emotional/mental stress of giving out in a teaching capacity for long periods is as exhausting as physical work is for a laborer. My husband is a builder and an ESFJ, and I spend alot of time writing and talking to people on the phone. We are both ready to sleep at the end of the day.
Don’t feel guilty about needing to rest. You can’t give to your family if you are depleted.
Good for you! I know what you mean about naps. I have to take one daily as well. We homeschool, and five was difficult for us as well. We had the same issues with meltdowns and my son wanting dad to teach. And we didn’t school for anymore than an hour or so in Kindergarten. I think it just takes them a while to get accustomed to the idea that mommy is the teacher, and that they have to buckle down to work.
We also went with a more traditional curriculum because he was not responding to other methods of homeschooling which I tried. We use the eclectic Christian textbook approach with a little Charlotte Mason snuck in here and there.
I found you via INFP Introverts.
Wow! Sounds like you’re busy. I know you can do it and just think of how fulfilling it is.
Now, to make you a little more busy, you’ve been tagged. Check it out here: http://timeisoftheescents.com/blog/
Good morning Mom!
I was just breathing with you while I read this post. Congratulations on joining us in this world of balistic parenting. I appreciate knowing there is more than one of us out there. Sometimes I am amazed at the patience my daughter has with our schedule. We do meetings and just about everything else together, including bathroom breaks. Ugh! Our daughter is also advanced for some of her peers and because she is so driven I use opposites to balance her would be extremes like harp music for naptime, massage when she can stand it, and the trampoline for both us…
Dree just spent the night with my buddy and my husband and I had time to ourselves. We went to dinner at the VFW and laughed all night long having so much fun with the older generation. What a riot! When Dree finally came home yesterday she just kept whining and crying, until I finally said let’s talk. Putting her into my lap I asked what was up. Thankfully we’ve taken the steps to develop this level of interaction. She told me she woke up in the night crying because she missed us. We let her gut it all out (took about 7 seconds) then she hugged us both and I reminded her that we were back together again. Would you believe the whining completely stopped after that? It took me a while to catch on that she needed to punctuate our reunion before she could transition back into our home. What I enjoy most is not having to be a genius all the time, just being a good listener works most of the time. Thanks for keeping it real!
There’s a fearless parent in all of us. Seen yours lately?
Adelaide Zindler, FP (Fearless Parent)
http://www.FearlessParenting.com